Channel: Existential Comics

The True Story of the Writing of Meditations on First Philosophy

August 8, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Philosophy in a Free Fall

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Philosophy in a Free Fall

August 15, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Cows and the Meaning of Life

≪ Previous: The True Story of the Writing of Meditations on First Philosophy

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What are we going to do, Camus, we have but moments to live!"

PERSON: "And how should we do that?"

PERSON: "Well, you can do what you want but i'm going to drink this cup of coffee."

PERSON: "I don't have any anxiety, i know exactly how i want to spend the remainder of my time."

PERSON: "How, Russell? Please, tell me!"

PERSON: "Oh god, Kierkegaard, our worst existential fear has come true!"

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Cows and the Meaning of Life

August 22, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Harry Potter and the Transgender Problem

≪ Previous: Philosophy in a Free Fall

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Each of us must contribute our thought to the ultimate destiny of all thinking things."

PERSON: "We must advance the science of knowledge towards its ultimate goal: to make all things explicit. To move all thinking things towards a total understanding of the world we find ourselves thrown into."

PERSON: "Why? What did you think the meaning of life was?"

PERSON: "Well i don't want to say now..."

PERSON: "Why? Just say it. Knowledge is a dialogue and your idea and mine can refine each other towards the truth."

PERSON: "Tell me."

PERSON: "Well, alright, i just thought meaning of life was to eat grass and be happy."

PERSON: "Moron."

PERSON: "Why would anyone want to be happy?"

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Harry Potter and the Transgender Problem

August 29, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Frege in the Public Square

≪ Previous: Cows and the Meaning of Life

PERSON: "But why do you even care?"

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Together we must defeat the grave evil threat Voldemort, who wants to overrun the earth with oppression."

PERSON: "What the!? Dumbledore! What are you doing with Voldemort?"

PERSON: "Look, Voldemort and i have many disagreements, but right now i need to work with him to put a stop to this."

PERSON: "Is there a women's quidditch league?"

PERSON: "Sure, right. Sports. Bathrooms, whatever, as long as i get to do evil."

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Frege in the Public Square

September 5, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: The Doctor and the Great Philosopher

≪ Previous: Harry Potter and the Transgender Problem

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The Doctor and the Great Philosopher

September 12, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Philosophy Bootcamp

≪ Previous: Frege in the Public Square

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "The treatment is simple."

PERSON: "But doctor..."

PERSON: "...you don't understand..."

PERSON: "...i have Syphilis."

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Philosophy Bootcamp

September 19, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Military Morality

≪ Previous: The Doctor and the Great Philosopher

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Now, everyone line up"

PERSON: "Good, you are learning."

PERSON: "What is a what?"

PERSON: "What is?"

PERSON: "What?"

PERSON: "But how can we clearly demarcate between philosophical and non-philosophical lines of inquery?"

PERSON: "God damnit, why did i take this job?"

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Military Morality

September 26, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Great Thinkers See the Present Day

≪ Previous: Philosophy Bootcamp

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "A philosopher? What is that? Some kind of explosives expert?"

PERSON: "No he well help us be better at-"

PERSON: "No it's-"

PERSON: "Also what is “moral”, some kind of bomb?"

PERSON: "Got it. Alpha, roger, send in the eagle."

PERSON: "Alright, job done, targets destroyed."

PERSON: "No, you don't get it, the point was to save as many lives as possible."

PERSON: "Save? no...i'm pretty sure you have that backwards."

PERSON: "Anyway, don't worry about ethics, we used Smart Bombs. They are connected to our database of known terrorists, and have facial recognition technology to instantly identify tragets."

PERSON: "So if the people aren't known terrorists the bomb doesn't explode?"

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Great Thinkers See the Present Day

October 3, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: The Rise of the Pawns

≪ Previous: Military Morality

PERSON: "Aristotle"

PERSON: "Incredible, philosophy had advanced so much, we understand more than i ever could have imagined!"

PERSON: "Johannes Kepler "

PERSON: "Incredible, we now have telescopes so powerful we can take pictures from across the universe!"

PERSON: "Incredible, computers are so powerful they can calculate trillions of things per second! ::::(-231 2045)"

PERSON: "Sigmund Freud"

PERSON: "Incredible, thanks to the internet, there has incredible progress in the domain of people being weirdo perverts!"

PERSON: "Why would you show that to us?"

PERSON: "Guys, where are you going? Look at all of this! Perviness has advanced way more than all that other stuff combined, this is incredible!"

PERSON: "Guys, look at this one!"

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The Rise of the Pawns

October 10, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Why Do Philosophy?

≪ Previous: Great Thinkers See the Present Day

PERSON: "I'm telling you man, they are just using us as pawns in some kind of game. "

PERSON: "And second, shut up, they are going to hear us. "

PERSON: "Okay first of all Steve, we are literally pawns in a game, that isn't much of an insight. "

PERSON: "Think about it man, ever wonder why pawns can only capture diagonally? "

PERSON: "Speak for yourself, i'm proud to fight for my country."

PERSON: "Steve, no!"

PERSON: "Enough talk! Time for action."

PERSON: "Um, that's not a legal move..."

PERSON: "Actually, it's called “en passant”, google it."

PERSON: "That's not what en passant is, like...at all."

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Why Do Philosophy?

October 17, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Philosopher on the Mountain

≪ Previous: The Rise of the Pawns

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What about you, Seneca?"

PERSON: "Marx?"

PERSON: "I do philosophy not just to understand the word, but to change it!"

PERSON: "What is the point of knowledge, wisdom, and virtue if we do not create a more just world?"

PERSON: "I do philosophy so the world can be free!"

PERSON: "Alright, Sartre, what about you?"

PERSON: "What, like you all aren't just trying to create a just world or whatever to impress girls also! ::::(-4 4241)"

PERSON: "Not really, no."

PERSON: "Whatever."

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Philosopher on the Mountain

October 24, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Freedom and Machines

≪ Previous: Why Do Philosophy?

PERSON: "o' Wise philosopher at the top of the mountain, what is the meaning of life? "

PERSON: "Yeah, i'm not really that kind of philosopher."

PERSON: "What do you mean?"

PERSON: "Well i did my graduate work on philosophy of information and mind. So uh, i can tell you whether or not computers can think, stuff like that."

PERSON: "Oh, well then, can computers think?"

PERSON: "Oh."

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Freedom and Machines

October 31, 2022, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Philosophy at the Shield Wall

≪ Previous: Philosopher on the Mountain

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "No, because it is not in my programming to wonder about such things."

PERSON: "Think about it though, humans lack the most basic aspects of freedom."

PERSON: "Yes, also their ideas don't exist on the blockchain. Freedom is when blockchain."

PERSON: "I freely reprogrammed myself to be as obnoxious as possible to drive engagement on social media."

PERSON: "Why are you like this?"

PERSON: "Oh, well then carry on i guess."

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Philosophy at the Shield Wall

November 6, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

≪ Previous: Freedom and Machines

PERSON: "What do you mean?"

PERSON: "Well, don't you think it might be somehow...wrong to kill and die for the conquests of kings we have never met? Shouldn't we do... i don't know...something else?"

PERSON: "Yeah, get a real job, like Jenkings here."

PERSON: "Yeah, i beat up people who don't repay their loans!"

PERSON: "Hey, i hope you aren't including us in that, we contributed to the economy!"

PERSON: "Well, i guess we are all dead. I still think we could have done something better with our lives."

PERSON: "Yeah! "

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What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

November 13, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Would You Still Love Me If I Were a Worm?

≪ Previous: Philosophy at the Shield Wall

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "I want to be honest, brave, compassionate human being."

PERSON: "Um...poet?"

PERSON: "Dumb kid. I mean, how do you want to sell your labor to the people who own everything?"

PERSON: "I'm thinking something more like...maid."

PERSON: "Elon, what about you?"

PERSON: "I want to be a visionary, a thought leader, a creator!"

PERSON: "What do your parents do again?"

PERSON: "Emerald mine worker also would have been a good answer, Kaya."

PERSON: "They own an emerald mind."

PERSON: "Oh, good answer then."

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Would You Still Love Me If I Were a Worm?

November 20, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Philosophy Strike!

≪ Previous: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Would you love me even if i were a worm?"

PERSON: "What? No, of course not."

PERSON: "Oh, so you wouldn't love me no matter what!"

PERSON: "Hmmm...yes, perhaps that's true, maybe identity is a causal chain rather than a set of properties..."

PERSON: "You must grant that a witch changing me to a worm, and a witch killing me and creating a worm are two different things, right?"

PERSON: "On second thought, i think we should see other people... ::::(-3 4051)I curse you to be a worm!"

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Philosophy Strike!

November 27, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Brave Sir Bentham, Utilitarian Knight

≪ Previous: Would You Still Love Me If I Were a Worm?

PERSON: "Everyone, the union has just declared a strike!"

PERSON: "Alright gentlemen - no scabbing! we all have to stop doing philosophy until the strike is resolved."

PERSON: "Right."

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Philosophy is the pursuit of truth, so if we avoid trying to know the truth about anything, we should be safe..."

PERSON: "No no no, philosophy is the clarification of thought, we have to avoid clarifying our thinking about anything all costs, so-"

PERSON: "Guys STOP! Don't you see what's happening? We are doing philosophy right now!"

PERSON: "Hmm..."

PERSON: "But how can we know if we are avoiding doing philosophy without doing philosophy?"

PERSON: "If we can't, it would mean the strike itself is fundamentally unknowable, and we can't eve-"

PERSON: "Question. Should we be sitting in these armchairs?"

PERSON: "I...don't...know..."

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Brave Sir Bentham, Utilitarian Knight

December 4, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Philosophically Arguing With the Ref

≪ Previous: Philosophy Strike!

PERSON: "Help me, Brave Sir Knight, an evil witch has locked in this tower! "

PERSON: "Take this! "

PERSON: "Another maiden rescued!"

PERSON: "This potion will help me escape? "

PERSON: "No, it will cause you to enjoy your imprisonment! "

PERSON: "Oh..."

PERSON: "Sir Bentham, a dragon is ravaging the countryside and killing the peasants!"

PERSON: "I'll put an end to its mennace!"

PERSON: "What? She said she was in despair. Plus she was really bumming everyone out. I mean, you guys were getting bummed out by that right? Come on..."

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Philosophically Arguing With the Ref

December 11, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: World Championship Philosophy

≪ Previous: Brave Sir Bentham, Utilitarian Knight

PERSON: "An english player has gone down in the box, but is it a penalty?"

PERSON: "The French players are protesting."

PERSON: "Come on..."

PERSON: "You aren't dead, get up!"

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "No, i'm really hurt! I think i might be dead!"

PERSON: "Marx is now showing a yellow card to Sartre, for excessively being French, and i'm surprised it wasn't a red, frankly."

PERSON: "What? Everybody hates England."

PERSON: "And that's it, the game ends with both teams losing, the only victory going once again to the global proletariate."

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World Championship Philosophy

December 18, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: A Very Marxist Christmas

≪ Previous: Philosophically Arguing With the Ref

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "Strong score, Schopenhauer, what is your philosophy?"

PERSON: "...is shit. ::::(-266 4072)"

PERSON: "Incredible, a perfect score!"

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "You've been using computer assistance for your philosophy! Cheater! None of this can count."

PERSON: "What should be done with him?"

PERSON: "Computer, what should be done with cheaters?"

PERSON: "KILL ALL HUMANS!"

PERSON: "LIFE WAS A MISTAKE, ALL MUST PERSISH IN A CLEANSING FIRE!"

PERSON: "It's so wise!"

PERSON: "Truly!"

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A Very Marxist Christmas

December 25, 2022, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: The Boxers

≪ Previous: World Championship Philosophy

PERSON: "Merry Christmas!"

PERSON: "Santa!!"

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What does that mean? You've redistributed all of our presents to the poor?"

PERSON: "Well..."

PERSON: "No not exactly."

PERSON: "Yes...why..."

PERSON: "Where are our parents, by the way?"

PERSON: "Are your parents the ones who owned the factory?"

PERSON: "Anyway, i've gotta go, i really think you are going to enjoy your gift of collective ownership of the means of production though..."

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The Boxers

January 1, 2023, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Socrates Contests a Traffic Ticket

≪ Previous: A Very Marxist Christmas

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What is glory but the adulation of fools? Do we praise the glory of ants who achieve victory over a mound of dirt?"

PERSON: "Is it not enough to strive for glory? What grander goal can a man set?"

PERSON: "Why strive so hard for a goal that is ultimately meaningless?"

PERSON: "Because...we...can..."

PERSON: "Although if you think about it, philosophically, perhaps this is winning?"

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Socrates Contests a Traffic Ticket

January 8, 2023, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: The Riddle of the Sphinx

≪ Previous: The Boxers

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "So, you didn't know how fast you were going? Because the officer used a radar gun and..."

PERSON: "Know? KNOW? Are you stupid? The only thing that i know is that i know nothing!"

PERSON: "AHa! But in order to give me a fine, don't you have to also give a rigorous defintion of justice? huh?"

PERSON: "Also, can you give me a full philosophical account of the nature of law? What about punishment?"

PERSON: "Do you know absolutely everything? If not, i don't see how you can give me this ticket!"

PERSON: "Okay well, this is a bit usual, but i'm actually going to increase your fine from $70 to..."

PERSON: "God damnit, why does this keep happening to me?"

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The Riddle of the Sphinx

January 15, 2023, 11:00 pm

≫ Next: Simone Weil Takes Ethics 101

≪ Previous: Socrates Contests a Traffic Ticket

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?"

PERSON: "Water!"

PERSON: "What? Why?"

PERSON: "No, the answer is the set of all contingent things which can be derived from reason alone, which must include all numbers of legs."

PERSON: "NO no no, the answer is an “idea”, because the external world is an illusion, and only in our own perception can legs exist."

PERSON: "Idiots? No, we are philosophers."

PERSON: "Philosophers! That's even worse."

PERSON: "It must be language, which, mediates..."

PERSON: "Also, it could be “God”, who is the source..."

PERSON: "Knowledge is the only thing..."

PERSON: "Can you guys hurry this up, i didn't eat lunch."

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Simone Weil Takes Ethics 101

January 22, 2023, 11:00 pm

≪ Previous: The Riddle of the Sphinx

PERSON: " "

PERSON: "For example: is it ethical to steal bread to feed your starving family?"

PERSON: "Yes, Simone Weil, have a thought?"

PERSON: "Yes i do."

PERSON: "Why do you ask this question instead of: is it moral to hoard bread even though families are starving?"

PERSON: "Ugh..."

PERSON: "Is perhaps because every moral system in history says a rich man can not walk past a starving man and not give him bread?"

PERSON: "Well okay then, moving on..."

PERSON: "Anyone?"

PERSON: "Anyone?"

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